Fighting games are full of clichés when it comes to their characters. Every fighting game features a spiky-haired Japanese guy wearing a headband (Ryu, Akira). There is always a busty, scantily clad girl, who breathes a little too heavily and fights with a fan (Kitana, Mai). And then there’s my personal favourite cliché: the old, geriatric kung fu master.

Every fighting game has one. He’s the guy with grey hair, bad posture, comical facial expressions, and, if it’s a Japanese game, a questionable fixation for female high school students. He’ll normally fight with a cane, or a staff, or at least with a stick. And he usually will have taught or fathered about half the other characters in the game.

The “old guy” really is an essential component for any fighting game. But who is the toughest “old guy” of them all? Tekken’s Heihachi Mishima? Mortal Kombat’s Shang Tsung? Well, Killscreen Poetry decided to put these old codgers to the test, and answer that most pressing of questions: who would win if all these cliched geriatrics were thrown into the ring... together?

Old Guy #2 - Raizo from Rival Schools
Raizo would have to be the strangest "old guy" to appear in a fighting game. This is because Rival Schools is set in a high school, and all the characters, except for him, are children. Still, the fact that Raizo is 40 years older than everyone else doesn't seem to bother him. He's the school's principal - and he beats up kids like a teacher from the Third Reich.